Understanding Intergenerational Trauma

Trauma doesn’t always start with us. In the way that physical health problems can be inherited via genetics, we can also inherit emotional pain from generations before us via attachment, emotional, and behavioural patterns. This is what we call intergenerational trauma, and it’s more common than many people realize.

Whether it’s grief and fear passed down after war, the effects of cultural oppression, or patterns of family dysfunction and abuse, trauma can ripple across generations like a wave—unseen, but deeply felt.

What Is Intergenerational Trauma?

Intergenerational trauma refers to the emotional, psychological, and physical impact of traumatic experiences passed down from one generation to the next.

Imagine a family where a grandparent survived a war, the residential school system, or abuse or neglect in the home. They may not talk about it, but their behaviours—withdrawal, mistrust, emotional detachment, lashing out—can shape how they parent. Patterns of coping also shape relationships- perhaps they use substances to cope in the best way they know, or find other ways to avoid and detach from their own pain. Their children grow up in that home, and are shaped by their parents emotional world. Then they parent from that same place of unspoken pain. The cycle continues.

The trauma keeps traveling—until someone stops and says, “This ends with me.” I often talk with those who come to understand this intergenerational trauma once they have children of their own and can see these cycles from a new perspective as a parent.

How Does Trauma Get Passed Down?

Trauma can be passed down in a few ways:

• Behavioural patterns: Children learn about their emotions and how to manage their emotions from their caregivers. If avoidance, fear, or anger are the default responses in the home, those often become the child’s norm.

• Parenting styles: Trauma survivors may parent unintentionally from a place of hypervigilance, emotional distance, anger and control, or inconsistent affection. This is what shapes our attachment styles: where we learn if relationships are safe and supportive (secure attachment), scary and to be avoided (avoidant attachment), fleeting and to be held onto tightly (anxious attachment), or a combination (disorganized attachment).

• Unspoken narratives: Families sometimes keep secrets or avoid painful stories. That silence creates confusion and emotional tension that children can feel but not name.

• Biological impact: New research in the field of epigenetics shows that severe trauma might actually alter gene expression—potentially affecting stress responses in future generations.

What Are the Signs?

Intergenerational trauma may show up as:

• Ongoing anxiety or depression

• Strong emotional reactions (or lack of emotions- numbness) that feel out of proportion to the situation

• Trouble forming close relationships or trusting others

• Difficulty saying no and establishing healthy boundaries

• Fears of abandonment

• Unhelpful coping mechanisms

The Good News: Healing Is Possible

Cycles can be broken. Awareness is the first step toward a fresh start.

Here’s how healing begins:

1. Name It
   Understanding that you might be affected by intergenerational trauma can be freeing. It’s not about blaming the past but understanding it. Be curious about the cycles that shaped your parents, and that then shaped you.

2. Seek Support
   Therapy specific to trauma healing- like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy or Emotion-Focused Therapy—can help you process emotions, gain helpful ways to self-soothe, and establish new patterns of coping and relating with yourself and within your relationships.

3. Talk About It
   If and when families are ready, open conversations can start a powerful process of collective healing.

4. Practice Self-Compassion
   Healing intergenerational trauma isn’t just hard—it’s courageous. Be gentle with yourself. You’re not “broken.” You’re healing. And kindness towards yourself will help you to change these patterns.

5. Create New Patterns
   The goal isn’t to erase the past, but to consciously respond to it. You have the power to offer a different legacy for those who come after you.

Final Thoughts

Intergenerational trauma may not have started with you, but healing can.

Cycles can be broken. Hope can be restored. And your story is still being written.